You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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