he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
