So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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