oh god the rape fog is back!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
