watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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