chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
