You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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