By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
