I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
