My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just want nice things and good sex
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Randomize
