I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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