Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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