can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
