I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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