oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
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Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
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doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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