Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
