Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
