I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every concussion has its silver lining
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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