i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
