Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
