Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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