Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
