I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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