I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
