Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
