and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
