well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize