Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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