Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
