Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
