We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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