I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
