It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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