we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
