Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
