I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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