ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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