did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
