One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
