Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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