I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
