The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
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Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
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Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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