i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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