i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
