i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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