Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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