let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
