There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
