He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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