How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
