Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
