It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
