You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
