Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
