Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
