she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
