i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
MIDGETS
????
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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