Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
