I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
