So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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