I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
