tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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