He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
