You're so nebulous sometimes
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
