Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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