how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
